I Go On

Years ago I started my first blog as a way of writing myself out of loneliness. I wrote often and it was cathartic. I continued to write after leaving my lonely existence in Vancouver to come to Winnipeg where I had many friends. Loneliness conquered, I reveled in the companionship of friends old and new. But six months in, my life blew up. I was at odds with my best friend. It was broken and it wouldn't be fixed. The remaining friends slipped away. Alone again but alone with my future husband.

Together exiled for being together.

There would be no writing this time. A few false starts but little else. My quaint little quiet rage at the ills of society had morphed into a conflagration, a fiery rage directed at my vilifier. Scorching my spirit and searing my creativity and drive, my charred remains could not articulate.

A simmered rage revealed the broken heart beneath.

Broken hearts fade and life goes on. I still feel the repercussions of betrayal and losing friends. Trust is hard. Making the effort to be a friend is hard. Even knowing how to be a friend is difficult. I no longer think about it everyday. My life is so different now. I married in 2010. I had a child in 2012. I'm living in my second house. That life is nearly 7 years behind me. I go on.

The original Book of Eve blog is the me before. Before I was manipulated into the role of betrayer. Before I became a partner and a mother. It seemed appropriate to start anew with a fresh blog. I am not the same but I go on.